Holy Week of Hell

I got four auditions in yesterday, all of which, I think, went well. One was an Equity call, and the pianist was… not the best. That said, I still sang well, but it was frustrating because it felt like they were straight-up not paying attention to me at all.

Anyway, I got in a total of 11 (or 12 maybe?) auditions last week, so if feels good to be back in the swing of things. I’m hoping to get at least four again today, if not break the record and hit 5. I’m signed in for a bunch, but all but two of them are Equity calls, so it’s just a matter of seeing who has time to see non union and if the timing of everything works out.

What’s crazy is that I got out and about an hour earlier than I normally do today, and still I’m number 180 on one of the non-union calls and number 73 on the other. I went to bed early last night because I was tired, and when I woke up before my alarm I decided to just get up and get out. Thank God I did, otherwise who knows what number I’d be for those.

I’m trying to get everything in that I can right now for two reasons: 1) summer seasons are going to be starting soon and casting will be winding down and 2) I’m going away (to The Republic of Georgia!) for two weeks in the beginning of May, in addition to four five days out of town first with Matthew for our anniversary (Pittsburgh… just so we can be together) and the Minnesota/Iowa with Julie and Kelly so we can road trip to the RENT 20th anniversary tour. I’m going to miss several weeks of auditions, so I’m trying to get as many in as I can now.

In addition to all that, it’s of course Holy Week, so I’m super busy at the Cathedral. That said, I’m going to have to skip things if the timing doesn’t work out with auditions. Today I’m likely going to miss Chrism mass, because Weathervane Theatre (the company in NH that is thinking about bringing me on as an intern for the summer) has an ECC today at 4pm (which I’m number 6 on the list for!) and Chrism mass starts around 3:45. I need to be seen at that call (they didn’t see any non-equity at the EPA yesterday) so that’s that. I’m going to go by at the end of the women’s call to see if they’ll hear any men, but it’s a brief call so I find that unlikely.

In any case, I’m busy, I’m tired, and I’m happy.

Everything’s Coming Up Milhouse

I took a few weeks off (10 of those days were vacation to Barcelona and London) but have dived back into the deep end this week. I’ve had six auditions fo far this week (it’s only Thursday!) and four of them were Equity calls.

What’s interesting, and a very happy side effect of doing this, is that I start each day with a positive attitude, thinking “This could be the day!” It wasn’t even a conscious choice, it just sort of happened. I used to walk to the train, even if I was in an otherwise decent mood, thinking about how it was just another day of the same old same old. This is hard, exhausting even, but it just solidifies that this is what I want to be doing, and it feels good.

Goodbye gals, I’m going to Boston

A bunch has happened, and yet it feels still like nothing has really happened. I didn’t get the Mamma Mia that I was called back for, but oddly enough got called in for a different production of Mamma Mia to play one of the dads. WTF. As if I wasn’t already confused about what my portrayable age range was, now I’m being called in to lay two parts in the same show that are literally twenty five years different in age. But– it is nice to be called in.

I’m on my way to Boston for the NETC auditions this weekend, and I’m looking forward to it. I’m singing the solo in the Saint Patrick’s Cathedral’s Irish Heritage Concert next Thursday, which will be fun. Then I’m going to London and Barcelona (literally to the airport from the concert…) and when I come back it will be time for my cabaret show. Things are still happening, and the goal is to always have SOMETHING in the pipeline to be looking forward to. As I do this more and more, I hope that that’s the case.

Not in the Room Where it Happens

Yesterday was a tough one. Got out the door super early and was signed in for five auditions before 9am. I hadn’t brought all my stuff with me for the day, because I didn’t think I’d bee seen for anything before noon or so. When I signed in for the only one of the five that I knew I’d definitely be seen for, I was number 19, and since the call started at 11, figured I’d be auditioning around 11:45. What I wasn’t expecting was to be number two on the non-union list for one of the other productions.

I scrambled back home to get everything and turned around to get back to the Equity building. Chances looked good that I was going to be seen, and pretty early. As time ticked by, however, I had to get to the one that I knew I’d get to audition for, so at about 11:20 I left and walked over to the other studio. I did in fact audition at about 11:50 or so, and as I was packing up my things learned on one of the online community forums that the non-equity list for the other one was brought upstairs. This means that they’re going to see people as they can, so I rushed back over there.

Every other time this has happened it’s been at least an hour between the list being brought upstairs and anyone auditioning, but that was not the case this time. I got back to the Equity building right around noon and headed upstairs, only to see that I’d already been called and missed my slot. No big deal, I thought, there’s still not too many people on the list so I signed the bottom of it (now number 14) and figured there was still a chance to be seen before lunch.

No other non-union people were seen before lunch, but no big deal. I went back at 1:45 and waited my turn, which, unfortunately never came. Only 1 additional non-union person was seen that day, so I was there until 5:30 when the audition ended. The other three I was signed in for were long shots, and no non-union people were seen for those anyway, so nothing missed there. It’s just frustrating to know that I had a chance to be seen but of course the one audition that I was definitely going to be able to do was at the exact time my name was being called. I know it happens, but it’s frustrating.

So, only three auditions this week. I can’t expect every week to be like last week, where I made it to 14, but I’d like there to be more than 3. I think at least one a day is not only reasonable, but should be the norm. On to next week!

The rest of Friday went well, and it turned out to be another 4 audition day. Two in one week! I got seen at a total of 14 auditions last week, which is probably close to the amount I’d go on in a single month (if that) they last time I was working at this.

2 more Equity calls on Friday made for a total of 7 last week, or exactly half of the auditions I did. This is getting exciting. Also, I got another callback for the Mamma Mia production I got asked to dance for, which I need to video myself reading some sides for and submit by tomorrow. It’s for the role of Sky, Sophie’s fiancĂ©. The part is written as though he’s about 25, if not younger. I think my eye cream and skin-care routine has been paying off! Not only can I keep up with the 23 year olds, but I can get cast as them too!

I’m now waiting to audition for a company I’ve auditioned for at least three other times in the past month. They cast for a bunch of cruise lines and theme parks, and this is yet another of those. Something I’ve learned is to take risks at auditions, because in a sea of people it’s the only way to stand out. I’m going to sing something very different than I have the other times, and it either works or it doesn’t. What I’ve done before hasn’t, so there’s nothing to lose.

Later I have an audition for an intensive summer training program, which would be nice if I’m not working on a show someplace. I’ve always wanted more training than I have, which is part of what has led to my feelings of inadequacy in the past, so to get some real training behind me would, ideally, take that away even further.

Snatched, the bootcamp I was doing at the gym, is officially over, and I had my final check-in this morning. I lost some weight and gained some muscle, but the most shocking thing is that I’m down to 4.3% body fat. That is insane to me. I feel good, I look good, and I’m doing what I want to do. I genuinely feel that it’s only a matter of time before things take off. It seems that every day there’s another step in the right direction, and it’s very exciting.

Dancing Through Life

This week has been crazy in a good way. Yesterday I got seen at the call I knew I would be seen at, because I had an actual appointment at noon. I was at the Equity building early to see if I could get in for a season at Cape May Stages, and sure enough, I got in for another union call right around 11:15.

It. Went. So. Well. One of the best auditions of my life, I think, and certainly the best this year. The panel was laughing and having fun with me and then asked me to play the piano (one of the shows they’re casting require two actors who can play– I don’t know how proficient they need to be). I sat down and started but my hands were shaking rather uncontrollably, and I couldn’t make it more than a few notes before hitting something weird. Also the D key stuck, and also my brain wasn’t working because I was excited and surprised. They were totally cool about it, and the artistic director said something to the effect of “it’s ok, don’t worry, I know I just threw that at you out of nowhere.”

It would be amazing to be cast for one of their shows, but I know that it probably won’t happen, because I’m non-union. That’s ok. I had an incredible audition in front of people who have worked with some of the top names in the industry and it felt good. Off to the next audition!

I got to my noon appointment feeling incredible, and so when the time can to sing I had a sense of joy and freedom and I just let it all out. It sounded so good! Seriously. When I was done they asked me to stay for the dance call, which was exciting. The dance call didn’t go great, but it wasn’t terrible either. It’s a weird one, because it’s for a production of Mamma Mia, and I have no idea who they’d cast me as. Age-wise I could be considered as one of the potential fathers, but looks wise I’m one of the younger like, pool-boys or whoever they are. Anyway, it was nice to get a bit of validation and be asked to stay.

So then I got home and immediately recorded a quick video of myself playing what I had attempted to play on the piano at the first audition, and emailed it to the artistic director with a thank you. I don’t know if this is normal, or possibly even frowned upon, but I figured it couldn’t hurt. Late last night I got a reply (which I was not expecting at all) thanking me and saying he’d forwarded it to the director.

It was a really good day, after what had already been a good week audition-wise. I have now been seen at 10 auditions this week, FIVE of which were Equity calls. Again, it just really feels like things are moving in the right direction.

So today, as is now the norm, I woke up early and set off to sign up for everything I could today. I am currently signed in for 5 auditions in 5 different buildings, so we’ll see what happens. I know I’ll be seen at at least one of them. I’m currently in the holding room for an open call casting a replacement understudy for Fiyero for the National Tour of Wicked, and it feels ridiculous. Two months ago I don’t think I would have even considered being in this room. What’s funny, too, is that everyone here is clearly the exact same type. You know that seen in Garden State when Zach Braff is waiting for an audition and looks around, only to see that everyone else there looks exactly like him? That’s a real thing. That’s this. In this case, the call specifically said they were looking for actors at least 5’11”, fit, and handsome, but it’s just funny to walk into a room full of people that all fit that type perfectly.

What’s interesting about being back in this life and hitting the ground running is that I feel like I’m getting so much more out of each day. The fact that my birthday was three weeks ago is astounding to me– it feels like it was three months ago. The fact that last Thursday was the first time I’ve ever been seen at an Equity call feels like a different life that happened a long, long time ago after this week.

Good. Things. Are. Coming. My. Way.

Happiness is what happens when all your dreams come true

This week has been crazy so far– I’ve been seen at 8 auditions, and 4 of them were Equity calls! It’s also only 9am on Thursday morning, and I’ll definitely be seen at an appointment I have later today, and I have a very good feeling about being seen for the Equity call I’m currently waiting for. I’m #7 on the list, and it seems there aren’t all that many union members or alternates waiting to be seen.

The experience I’m gaining by being out here doing it all day every day has been invaluable. Even if nothing comes from this week’s auditions everything is a learning experience that works toward making the next one that much better. It feels like things are heading in the right direction for the first time in a long time, and it’s very exciting.

I am happy when I walk to the subway in the morning. I’ve realized that a few times over the past few weeks, but it hit me again this morning. I’m leaving my apartment about an hour and a half earlier than I used to, when even on the best day I’d still have an unnamed feeling hanging over me– the sort of thing that you don’t notice is there until it’s gone, like when the heat or a/c turns off in your house but you didn’t notice the sound until it was gone.

Things feel good. They feel right. Like I’m in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time, and (I think I’ve mentioned this before) it’s incredibly freeing. I don’t feel nervous in an audition room because it’s becoming so commonplace, I appreciate every opportunity, and I am so happy to be doing this.