My 37th birthday has happened since my last post, and I’ve realized that though the title of my blog is a nod to the play “To Gillian on her 37th Birthday,” it’s been at least fifteen years since I’ve read it and as such I think a reread is necessary.

I’ve spent the past week waking up early, signing in for Equity calls that I know I’m unlikely to be seen for, and here and there attending auditions that I do actually get seen for. All the while working from wherever I am to make that money.

I’m lucky enough that the wine shop I’ve worked at for the past two and a half years offered me the opportunity to basically work remotely 95% of the time, which has been an integral part of my plan to get back on the audition trail. I think it’s going to work out, though I’ve got to give it about a month to see how much I’ll be able to fully support myself this way, and then analyze to see if I need to add something else to supplement. Part of my work is now going to be commission based, so if I have large sales and can make a whole lot of money one month, perhaps I’ll be able to then take a slow month if it happens.

Currently I’m waiting for my turn at an audition for Celebrity Cruises, where I’m number 135. It was approximately 5 degrees when I left my apartment this morning at about 8:15, and I was signed in before 9am, and still 134 people were here before me. That said, the other day I was number 270 for something and had gotten there at about 9 as well, so this isn’t so bad. It will be a long wait, but I’m pretty certain I’ll be seen for this one.

I’m also signed in on the non-Equity list at the Equity building for Flat Rock Playhouse’s upcoming season, and I’m number 27 on that list. This is an Equity Chorus Call, which means that the Equity Membership Candidates are in the same boat as non-union people, so there are a whole lot fewer people that could possibly be before me. They’ve also had Equity Principal Auditions two days this week already (which I woke up and signed in for, but they didn’t have time to see non-Equity those days) so perhaps everyone who was looking to be seen has auditioned already. I can hold out hope, anyway.

I’m nearly two weeks into doing this all again, and I feel good and focused. I’m trying to list and work on goals for the day, week, and month in order to get all the little career things done that I need to have done, and should I actually follow this plan, I think it will be a good way to get shit done. Every day is a step forwards, and if I get all of those things done I’ll be in a vastly different place this time next year than I am now.  Not everything works like American Idol, and not every success is immediate. That’s this week’s mantra.

Something of note was that on Tuesday I accidentally found myself at another dance call. I don’t know if the wording in the casting was weird, or if I just got confused, or what, but there I was. I’d already signed in for three auditions that I didn’t have a good chance of being seen at, and since this was for some non-union production in the middle of Ohio I figured I couldn’t embarrass myself too badly.

Not only did I not embarrass myself, but I wasn’t even close to the worst in the room. It was to the point that after they conferred and came back to the holding room to announce who they needed to see again, I was half expecting my name to be called. It wasn’t, but that’s not the point. At a dance call you essentially all go in the room, learn the combination, and then dance in small groups, while everyone is still in the room. The whole time I kept thinking, I am here by accident, am ten or fifteen years older than all of you, and yet not only am I keeping up but I’m outperforming a bunch of you. How did you guys get here? It was weird. If nothing else, it was a free dance class, and I felt really good about myself when I left.

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